So some of the people I know, that know me, or even are my friends, you
could say are actually quite youthful. I am stuck in this trope though
where I am only 25, but I already feel like I've got a ton of wisdom I
want to share.
Not so much as to feel like a sage, but because they're mainly mistakes I
see no reason people of younger generations should make.
In the BroStream chat I usually end up writing a paragraph of these, and
adding a few more lines that barely do justice to the point I'm trying
to make. If not already utterly drown in the mass of other people
talking.
So, I decided to round a few up. I try to stay as general as possible.
There are some lessons that are more unique to the kind of person you
are. But there are also some lessons that you need to learn the hard
way. However, those that remain, I'll try and gather here. If it's
received well, I may do encores. Who knows.
Seeing as how I consider the coherent internet user to be at least of
the age of 12, and willing to read long texts to be at an age of 14-16,
I'm going to somewhat list these chronologically. Or at least to the
best of my ability.
High School. It's fucking scary. Whichever way you turn it, if you're
intimidated now, you're gonna be intimidated for a good while in the
beginning of the school year. You're afraid. That's fine. That fear is
going to help you keep yourself at edge, pay attention to your
surroundings, learn your new environment and the people in it. You'll
get used to it. It'll even become a huge ass tedium that you hate
dealing with. But it'll get better and those first few weeks will look
truly insignificant.
Boring classes. Oh yeah, unless you are one of the rare human specimens
that can get excited for every class for a whole year, you'll encounter
classes that you have no interest for or can barely stand. Sometimes you
just need to discover the true appeal to them, but more often than not
you can use this knowledge to learn what career directions you probably
won't aspire after. That's useful information.
Low scores and failing classes. Most parents have a strong interest in
the grades of their child. But parents are parents, and don't always
know how to be sane about it. This means that there's a huge bunch of
stress on your shoulders. So here's a piece of advice, if you know
there'll be courses you're gonna score bad at.
- Try and master the basics first. Get that foundation going. It might
help understand the context of the theory that forms upon it.
- That's also handy in cases where knowledge of that can get you some
scores. If you know you won't score great, try to score on a minimum so
it won't let you fail your year.
- Try and study real hard on the classes that interest you a lot. Not
only could they turn out to be real interesting for a future career
venue, but they can help carry you through your year.
I always say that it's fine to score a barely sufficient score for a
class you know you'll never want a career in. My French sucked and still
does, but I know I wasn't going to be a translator. English and IT
we're my strength, and lo and behold... I'm quite trained in both, even
if I say so myself.
Social Media. I'm gonna sound like a parent, but you need to be real
fucking careful. Don't throw your real name around so much. Only
experienced people know how to clean up their papertrail when they're an
adult, and it's not easy. So that can bite you in the ass when you've
grown up.
But even in shorter term, using your real name online and even posting
pictures makes you an easier target for Cyber bullying. They've only to
know your name and they can start spamming or threatening you.
One way to deal with Cyber Bullying, while very hard, is to realize that
you're only dealing with the internet. You can shut it off, and talk to
someone about it.
Parents and Family. If you even have the slightest suspicion that they
care about you, they'll have an ear for what you're going through. Not
all parents are as capable of bringing their point forward as well.
Therefor it's important that you early on try to establish a good
relationship with your parents on how you like to be treated when you
need some advice. Bear with them. They may have been teenagers too once,
but knowing how they feel is different from figuring out how you feel.
This is new terrain for everybody, in a way. Patience will have to come
from both ways.
The mistake I made with my parents was that I basically talked about
nothing with them, ever. It lead to be cropping up most of my emotions,
becoming a very frustrated, sometimes even aggressive, person. That all
started to sort itself out when I was assigned a therapist where I could
just talk to and engage in mind-freeing activities. We didn't always
need to talk about how I felt. Sometimes we just cooked a dessert or
something. Therapy is more than people make it out to be. It's about
freeing that stuffed mind so it's no longer in a state of disarray and
confusion.
Friends. This is a tough one. When you've been in the same school
together for years, you'll come to believe that nothing can separate
you. But once you graduate, suddenly you start losing contact with these
friends. it's as if they want nothing to do with you anymore, and that
you never really had any friends at all. A very disenchanting
experience.
In reality, it becomes more a thing about perspective and staying
positive. These friends in school weren't as much friends as they were
people who were sharing your fate, as they were in the same school
and/or class with you. Adjust your expectations. Realize that there may
be a time that you'll have to say goodbye and that they may disappear
from your life.
In return, learn that school isn't the only way to make friends. Let's
ignore the fact that some friends on the internet are actually good
people. Having a job, or just frequenting anything for any reason means
you can make friends there through any wicked weave of fate. But here's
the key difference: Besides work, these encounters and blooming
friendships are more often than not voluntary.
Making friends in school is often a matter of just finding common ground
and then knowing these people won;t make this obligatory "waste of
time" any worse. Outside of work/school, friends that you make are
simply people whom have mutually decided that they are not annoying or
even fun to hang out with.
Friendship does not stop after graduation, it takes a new definition.
Your body. Yes, it's normal that it's like that or is getting like that
or refuses to get like that. No you shouldn't be embarrassed about it.
YES, you can ask your parents about it.
Unless you have a bodily (or otherwise) handicap, there is no way that
an adult doesn't know the strife that you are or have to go through.
They know. As embarrassing as it may feel, they have felt the exact same
way and would love to tell you how exactly it's going to go and that
it's going to be fucking fine.
No, really. From pimples or pubic hair to size of your genitals. If it
worries you, ask about it. But don't think you're going to evolve into a
mutant. You're not. This path has been tread before and there is a
wealth of knowledge about it.
Emotions. Yes, you might be overreacting. No, it's not abnormal. There's
a chance your hormones are fucking with you. What can you do? Nothing,
it's part of growing up and you'll have to muscle through it. But
realizing and trying to work with it is the first step. Especially when
you've emotionally hurt someone, trying to explain it that way may seem
like a cop-out, but if it's the truth... it's the truth. Just try not to
overuse it, or we get a Boy Cries Wolf situation.
Stuff that you like. Aren't people insane for not liking the same stuff
that you do? Well, people have different flavors. And as you grow up,
you'll learn to rationalize the fact that, with people being endlessly
unique, also means the chance that someone won't like something that you
do. Or see things the way that you do. If you want to introduce someone
to your style of music, then try, but don't push it too hard. It could
harm your relationship with them if you push them for it, and insisting
may never result in them caving in.
The scary future. You're getting there. Your last few years in school.
You don't know what kind of job you want yet, or you're afraid there are
no job openings for what you want. Even worse, you've been completely
intimidated by the scary stories that adults tell you.
Don't panic. Most of these adults mean well. They intimidate you so that
you learn that being an adult won't be a cakewalk. But it won't be an
impossibility either. While their intimidation is often counteractive to
this, self confidence is actually the lesson you should take away from
this. Be confident that, when you graduate, all your efforts should go
into finding a career.
Worry later about becoming self reliant. If you still live at home and
you're not being an ungrateful son, it's nothing to be embarrassed
about. Many adults still live at home with their parents. Not
surprisingly, because the economy is still recovering from it's
collapse. We can't be expected to all have the wonderful miracle run of
getting that perfect job and be able to pay off that perfect home with
garden and a tree house.
These things take time and effort, and make for a goal to look forward
to, as you strut forward in this harsh but real world. And yes, it is
harsh, but by the time you'll have to face it, your school and
environment should have done it's utter best to prepare you for it.
That, or the school system is failing.
I hope that these in some way help someone. Or at least make for an
interesting read. It's been a topic I always wanted to address. Just
bundle that stuff I always wanted to tell my young self. Tell that silly
little guy that it's all going to work out. Well, at least the stupid
stuff he's worrying about.
If you think I forgot a topic or piece of advice, do let me know.
I've spent an entire hour writing this. Jeesh.
No comments:
Post a Comment